A Side of Death - An Exaggeration

Do you ever get an ominous feeling when you go to a restaurant? Like your life depends on you not eating there? The violins from Psycho play in your head as they slide the food onto your table?

That's how hungry I was today that I ignored that feeling.

Restaurant's a bit generous. It was a food shack, which is one step away from being a food cart only by virtue of it being cemented to the ground. Service so mean the staff is likely add you to the menu. It's not a matter of whether or not they'll spit in your food. It's a matter of how many and in what order.

But I skipped breakfast and I was starving.

This may be my last blog.

Avenge me.

Madam, Last Time I Checked, I'm the Mad Scientist Here

I'm not crazy, I'm a mad scientist. Which is like crazy but with a degree.

This excuses me from all sorts of things that crazy people do. So for example, I tell you that I've replaced your spouse's brain with a potato, you're supposed to bow down before my superior intellect. Not whack me in the head with whatever is handy.

And no, I can't bring him back from the dead. Water to wine, yes. Bringing back the dead, not so much...But give me a week, the march of Mad Science is a frightening, unpredictable V.I.P. party.

So call me next week, who knows?

Mea Culpa of Sorts

Been accused of not writing enough in my blog. Not in the sense that there's not enough entries, but in the sense that the entries are too short. Oh, and it was not so much "accused" as "strongly hinted with a side of back handedness."

Sometimes, you just want to make your point and get off the stage.

Really, what else can you do sometimes?

You Can't Miss Being a Kid if You Never Stopped Being One

This one time I saw a guy on a unicycle riding through downtown. I wanna learn to do something completely useless just for fun. Like playing the harmonica.

I draw the line at playing handball, though. That's just dumb.

You know what I miss? Tag. I miss playing tag.

Forget ultimate frisbee, I want to start a Tag League. Who wants in? Can't you imagine it? Ten or so grown-ups running around, playing tag in a park for no reason? Can't think of anything better. And what better game? You don't even need a ball or any equipment and the rules are easier than your sister.

You could even keep stats on who was IT the least amount of time so you could crown a tag MVP. Okay, maybe not.

I want to play tag again. No backsies, of course.