Him

When I was a small boy back in El Salvador I used to watch a kid's variety style show on our channel 2. The hosts were a bunch of clowns, literally, who would do skits between Spanish-dubbed episodes of U.S. cartoons. The name of the show escapes me, as does the name of my favorite clown from it. That guy was the coolest cat in the world as far as I'm concerned.

For my birthday one year, we celebrated at this poncy restaurant with a big outdoor area. Can't remember which birthday, but I was young enough that I still brought invitations for everyone in my class as opposed to my specific friends. Birthdays in El Salvador were a pretty standard affair when I was a kid. Venue, clown, pinata, cake, followed by presents. To my great joy, my father had gotten the clown from the channel 2 show to be at my party.

I don't get along with my father. He has a very narrow idea of what he wants from a son and I'm happy not to oblige. My father wants a son who is a carbon copy of himself in word and deed. A son who would never go against his father's word no matter how wrong it was. So it's a big disappointment to him whenever we meet and he remembers that I'm not him. That's his dream, that's why I'm a junior. My son is supposed to be the third and his the fourth and so on the legacy goes. I joke with my sisters that I'm going to let the future Mrs. name the boys just to spite him.

That's not the only reason I don't get along with him, but it's the one I'm mentioning here.

Now when I think back to that moment when the clown from channel 2 showed up, I get a fat smile on my face. I remember dad got an extra back-breaking hug that day. It was great. The clown guy was great. Probably my favorite birthday from my childhood. Afterwards, once the other kids had left, the clown returned, without the makeup and funny costume. My father reintruduced me to him. I saw that behind it all, he was just an everyday guy and it didn't rob me of the magic of it one bit. Looking back I'm surprised it didn't. That's just what the old man is too I guess, just an everyday guy.

I'm not one for nostalgia, but considering how tempestuous things are between my father and I, it's nice to have a handful of happy memories like this one to remember it's not all bad.

Hypno Bedhead's Dictionary Entry of the Day

Free Advice: noun
Something given as if wanted.

Random Quote

On MySpace:

"I told you, this is what happens when you let non-geeks into the internet."

Overheard on the N-Judah

Cornered

"There's no one here," one security guard said to the others. He put his finger to his lips, and then pointed to the bag of loot the men clutched. They split, leaving the bag. The guard stuffed it behind the dumpster.

He rejoined the others. "Must have gone the other way," he said.

My Frontal Lobes Are Mush

Been without internet at home for four days. Couple that with my lack of mobile phone reception and my comments about living in a cave have become a self fulfilling prophecy. Maybe I should start commenting that I win the lottery all the time.

I'm convinced my wireless card is some sort of futuristic assassin sent back in time to drive me crazy and dead. Like the Terminator, only less explody and more cerebral.

2x4 logic

Returning from visiting the family, I was asked what a film producer does...again. Understand, this is so commonplace I'm starting to believe it's a nervous tic...shared by everyone in my family.

Also, moved into a new place, been playing Tetris with the furniture. Haven't quite got it right yet. Still trying to get the rack to fit next to the iron maiden. What exactly is the proper Feng Shui for a dungeon, anyway?

Hardly see the new roommates at all. Need to figure out which ones are human beings and which ones will require staking, beheading, filling the head with garlic before the beheading, dousing in holy water, unprotected exposure to sunlight, and whipping (gently, of course.)

Someday the roommates in the 2nd category will thank me for it, and we'll share a hearty laugh. At least I will anyway.

Camping Trip

“It’s not as bad as you think,” he told Canby, “I can’t even feel it really. I’ll be okay.” A piece of metal had torn right through his arm. It bothered him not at all.

Canby patted him on the shoulder, smiling weakly. Their car was totalled.

“Chicks really dig scars, right? How long do you think the rescue people will be?” Canby felt guilty about the relief that the metal through his brother’s arm gave him. He was so focused on it he didn’t realize a bigger piece metal had torn his back badly or that the cell phone lay smashed a few feet away from them, at the foot of the tree they hit.

The Universe has a Sense of Humor

I have now been attacked twice outside my house on my way to the L-Train...by birds.

There I am, minding my own business when a little blackbird swooped down by my shoulder. Thought nothing of it so I kept going. Then the bird, again, and a thud against my shoulder as it flew by again. That freaked me out...

...but not as bad as today. Walked out of the house, thought, "Hmmm...wonder if that bird's gonna do that again." Sure enough, flew right by me once. Then again, only this time, right by my head! Always swooping in from behind, too.

What, he can't face me like a man? See how he likes it when I start packing a tennis racket.

Someone at work told me it's a sign. If it is, I don't want to know for what. If kamikaze blackbirds are the universe's way of telling me to shape up and fly right, I don't want to know what it does when it tells you to quit smoking. Does it rain lunchmeat?

If it wants you to stop embezzling money from your company, do pandas come out of your eyes?

Neglecting your bills? How about being run over by a clown car?

I'd hate to even begin to think what offense would get you targeted by an army of Ninja Zombie Doom Nuns.

Or, they say those whom God wants to destroy he first drives mad. Maybe that's it. Some day I'll be found babbling and incoherent, going on about how "The blackbirds made me do it."

"The birds, the birds!"

Happy Thoughts!

The amount of money I pay towards my student loans (almost) ='s my rent.

Me + Bills = Broke

Me + Moving = Bye, bye savings (again)

Me + Stress = My script not getting done = More stress

They really don't prepare people for this sort of thing in high school.

...help?

Loss for words

There has to be a word or phrase to describe something so serene, beautiful, and calm that it gives you the creeps. When your unconscious reaches behind the facade and can sense something disturbing underneath the surface. Surely the French must have a phrase or word. Maybe the Germans? If the Germans can come up with schadenfreude, they can come up with a name for anything.

Also, what's the name for when someone is a hypochondriach but for other people? There's a term for it, though I forgot.